Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984) Sam Firstenberg

Production Budget: I actually can’t find solid numbers
Worldwide Gross: $15 million
Subsequent Earnings: $5 million

First off F*CK YOU PLENTUS for recommending this movie!!!  Second, I apologize if this isn’t in fact a bomb, I have just always heard it as such.

Now that I got that out of way, Breakin 2 is one of those titles like Snakes on a Plane or The Incredibly Strange Creatures that Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies.  Titles that everyone’s heard of but no one has really seen.  Well…I have seen Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo and its just about as bad as you can imagine.  In fact, its worse.

The plot (yeah, the plot *rolls eyes*) has Kelly going back to da hood to reunite with her friends and former break dancing partners Ozone and Turbo.  They have developed a neighborhood community center which takes kids turning to a life of crime and teaches them to break dance.  Yeah.  Personally I think the drug trade is the more sensible option.  Anyway an evil white Brit millionaire wants to bulldoze the community center and put up a shopping mall.  Really its because Brits are arseholes.  But really, I found myself rooting for him because I wanted all the dancing to end.

I usually complain that movies about something like dancing usually doesn’t have enough of it and instead fills it with a crappy plot.  That is soooo not my complaint with this movie.  The title says ‘Electric Boogaloo’ and by God your going to get.  So sit down, shut up and watch the f*cking dancing!  They dance, and dance, and dance, and dance and you feel like committing seppuku and then you realize you are only 10 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE!  If you were to make a drinking game where you take a shot every time a different dance scene started, you would be dead of alcohol poisoning at the 30 minute mark.  I haven’t really talked about the plot because there isn’t one.  The community center is getting bulldozed, and they break dance to save it.  It would also be something if the dancing was any good but it is just embarrassing.  Let me put it this way; I can dance better than these fools.  Just imagine someone doing the robot, then doing a spinaroonie, then doing a little Michael Jackson move, then back to doing the robot again, lather rinse repeat.  That is every single dance scene in the entire movie.  That is your F*CKING Electric Boogaloo.  Oh God, its like a never ending nightmare.  If there is a hell, it is a constant loop of ‘I Believe in the Beat’ while Ozone shakes his pleathered package in your face while Turbo f*cks you in the a**.

Oh the acting.  Its clear that these people are dancers first and actors second.  And if you can imagine that their acting is worse than their dancing, then you understand the nightmare that is Breakin’ 2.  If that isn’t embarrassing enough, Ice T is in this movie.  Suddenly, I have more street cred than Ice T.

Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo has been remembered and mocked for so long, because the title is indicative of everything that is wrong with quick cash in sequels.  This movie makes Step Up 2 look like The Red Shoes.  This makes Footloose look like An American in Paris.  This is one of the worst (if not THE worst) dance movie I have ever seen.  Its just….AAAAAARRRRRGHHH!!!