Immortals (Tarsem) 2011 SPOILERS!!!

I REALLY wanted to like this movie.  You have no idea how much I wanted to like it.  There is so much on the surface of it that can be appealing.  For one, this movie does have a gorgeous art scheme.  If there is one thing you can depend on with Tarsem, it is that the movie will have good visuals.  You also have Mickey Rourke giving a badass performance as the lead villain.  Lastly, with a movie about gods and mortals in a war, you expect to have tons of great action in it.  Too bad the rest of the movie sucks ass.

What is my problem with the story?  It is that the story is entirely pointless.  Let me put it to you like this.  Let’s pretend our protagonists didn’t exist in this movie.  Let’s imagine they completely disappear at the beginning of the movie.  If that happened, it would not have any effect on the ultimate outcome of the movie.  The main villain has free reign to do whatever he wants and nothing would change.  I really don’t ask a lot of my movies but one thing I do ask is that you don’t waste my time.

I’m sorry if I harp on it but frankly I can’t believe it.  They build up the whole movie that our main character is the only hope and that he has to prevent the Titans from escaping.  In the end, he doesn’t prevent the Titans from escaping and the gods come down and end the entire conflict.  I suppose you could say he kills the main bad guy but so what?  Who’s to say the gods couldn’t have killed him too after he released the Titans from prison or when the mountain came down?  It’s like if Luke Skywalker failed to blow up the Death Star at the end of Star Wars, and then a big asteroid comes and crashes into it and destroying it.  You would be sitting there like “What the fuck dude!?“  I am also brushing past several plot inconsistencies and holes as the writers are seemingly making the rules up as they go along.

That leads me to my next failure that the characters are dull and uninteresting.  Theseus really has no character arc.  When we meet him he is a flawless fighter and when we leave things he is exactly the same.  He has no real struggles or challenges to overcome.  There is some crap thrown in about Theseus finding faith or needing faith but even that point is torpedoed when the gods come down and chat with him.  How exactly does one get faith when he is given clear and unambiguous evidence that gods exist?  Isn’t that…oh what’s that term…A CONTRADICTION!?  The only other characters of note are Stavros (Stephen Doriff), a character even the writers don’t find interesting enough to write for and Phaedra (Freida Pinto), who is only around so we can see her bare ass (not complaining about that mind you).

I wanna say this movie is all flash and no substance but I’m not even sure I can go that far.  I saw this movie with some friends with whom all they wanted was some dumb action movie ala 300 and they thought it blew ass too.  As I mentioned in the first paragraph there are some nice aspects to the movie but ultimately this was a dull experience.  I didn’t care at all about the characters, the plot was bad to say the very least, and the action was actually few and far between.  This movie pissed me off which is actually hard to do.  So yeah, if you didn’t get the hint already I don’t recommend the movie.  My only hope is the filmmakers don’t follow through on their threat at the end of the movie of a sequel.


2 Responses to “Immortals (Tarsem) 2011 SPOILERS!!!”

  1. First of all i myself thought the movie was great. This movie had a lot of action and clearly had point to it.

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