Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (David Yates) 2009 MINOR SPOILERS

Okay before I say what I have to say just keep this in mind: I am a Harry Potter fan.  I am not a rabid HP fan but just a fan.  I have read most the books (before getting disinterested) and own the first 4 movies.  So I am not a troll or a HP purist who thinks they didn’t follow the book “faithfully enough”.  That being said, I think this is the worst Harry Potter movie of the bunch.

I cannot recall a previous time when a plot got screwed up this bad.  What really and truly kills this movie is the main plot and the sub plot somehow switched positions.  It is a bizzaro Harry Potter movie as it were.  The “main plot” should be about the building tension of the coming war between the Death Eaters and the wizards.  Dumbledore is on the hunt for information about Voldemort and is frequently away from Hogwarts.  Harry is trying to find out about a book he finds which is addressed to a subject called the Half Blood Prince.  Harry also questions the trust Dumbledore places in Snape.  Meanwhile the Death Eaters enlist Draco Malfoy to kill Dumbledore.

That is what the main plot should be.  Instead a good 75% of the movie is dedicated to our main characters hooking up.  You would be surprised of a coming war because you wouldn’t see it around the students.  They are too busy practically dry humping in the hallways.  Now, before you say anything, I get it.  I really do.  The Harry Potter books have grown with the children and get progressively darker and more adult as the books/movies go on.  Half Blood Prince is also about these kids growing into adults and dealing with their hormones.  But that is a sub plot.  It should not be the MAIN PLOT.  The majority of scenes are about dating and who is in love with who.  We spend so much time with the characters gossiping like “Does Harry like Ginny?  But Ginny likes such and such!”  or “Hermoine likes Ron, but does he love her back?” that I almost imagine someone next to the director nudging him and whispering “Um, Mr. Yates, should we go back to this little plot thingy?”  We cut very briefly away from this taut dating action to get a few glimpses of Tom Riddle in the past.  Unfortunately it doesn’t extend any farther past HE’S JUST EEEEEEEEEVIL!!!  Oh, I’m sorry I spent too much time talking about important stuff.  I have to get back to who invited who to Christmas dinner!  Can you believe the nerve of Hermoine inviting some other guy from the Quiddich team?  That bitch!

And if it seems like I’m beating this point till its dead here is another factoid.  There is maybe one action scene in the entire running time of this 2 and a half hour movie.  I stress the term maybe because it was so quick it barely snapped me out of my trance.  How is that even possible?  How do you make a movie with so little plot and no action…and your name isn’t Jim Jarmusch?  Sorry, got sidetracked.

I won’t go into the ending even though I think everyone knows what happens.  But I’ll just say that there is no climax or final battle to send the movie off.  The movie just kind of peters out.  The movie limps out with its twist and just ends.  What should have been the ultimate moment of the series is bland and forgettable.

The actors (I’m talking mostly about the children) is fine.  They are still not very good with major emoting when the scenes call for it, but they are comfortable with each other and act like old friends.  Jim Broadbent absolutely steals the movie and would go as far as say its nomination worthy.  He was the only truly interesting part of the whole damn movie.

I’m sure this movie has enough to please people.  The plot about the kids hooking up is charming in its own way and I can see people being mildly entertained with the whole thing.  But as a Harry Potter movie it has a SEVERE problem with pacing, a complete disdain for its main plot and a crippling flaw of no action.  On the whole Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is an okay movie but for a series like this it deserves so much better.

Oh and one last thing that pissed me off:

They never investigate anything about the Half Blood Prince.  You know, that little character that is mentioned in the main f*cking title!  Harry finds the spell book with the prince’s name in it.  All the kids ask “Who is the HAlf Blood Prince?”  and then the matter is completely dropped for the rest of the movie.  Then at the end of the movie Snape just out of the blue says “I AM THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE!!!”  Um what!?  Talk about out of the freaking blue!  Why is he called the half blood prince?  Why does he just opt to mention it to Harry?  What does this have to do with anything!?  Ugh, assholes!

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