Death Race 2000 (Paul “The Man” Anderson) 2008

The story is about Jenson Ames (Jason Statham) an ex-con/ex-race car driver who is framed for the murder of his wife so he can take the place of Death Race icon Frankenstein (who wears a mask during his races) who died secretly earlier. Of course this was all manipulated by the warden who doesn’t want Frankenstein to win but wants the ratings.

Part of me wants to say Death Race 2000 works on the most basic level of entertainment. I mean the car chases are well shot, there is action (both car chases and fight scenes), and enough of shit blowing up to entertain you if you turn your brain off. I tried to do that but I guess I still couldn’t turn off the critical sensors in my brain that hurt. For example, why can’t a supercharged Ford Mustang out run a MACK truck with two full length trailers full of steel plating, machine guns, and missiles? Or they bring in Jenson to drive but is only known to everyone else as Frankenstein because he wears the mask to drive (to cover for the death of Frankenstein in an earlier race). The warden later wants Jenson dead and engineers elaborate ways to kill him on the race track. Here’s a brainstorm: WHY DON’T YOU KILL HIM IN PRISON WHEN HE DOESN’T HAVE HIS SUPERCHARGED MUSTANG TO DRIVE YOU F*CKING MORON!!!!! *sigh* I guess you can either get over it or you can’t.

If you can’t get over the plot holes in the action, then you definitely won’t get over the rest of the sh*tty writing on the plot. For example, why is there a side plot (which goes nowhere) where we go into the possible homosexuality of Machine Gun Joe? The cinematography sucks in that this is the first color movie that needs to be colorized. OH LOOK, the drab gray car is driving in the drab gray prison by the drab gray driver and the other drab gray cars are chasing him! I understand this is set in a prison and therefore does not have the color palate of Speed Racer but you can still infuse a little color into it. The acting…yeah, like anyone gave a sh*t to act in this movie. I’m not even going into the blasphemy of remaking the classic, I am just talking about this movie on its own merits. Really if you have seen any of “The Man”‘s movies then I guess you know if you will enjoy Death Race 2000. Death Race 2000 is poorly made and is filled with plot holes, but its not unwatchable. I don’t recommend it, but its not terrible. Its just mildly ass.

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