Crank: High Voltage (Mark Neveldine/Brian Taylor) 2009

Again, to simplify this review into one statement it would be this: if you loved Crank, then you will love Crank: High Voltage.

Crank is probably my favorite Jason Statham movie and one of my fav action movies in recent years.  Its easy to dismiss this movie as retarded, puerile, juvenile, etc.  I would say those are its greatest strengths.  It makes no apologies for what it is and leaps off the cliff of implausibility to revel in its own insanity.  I would almost go as far as say its a satire of all the action movie cliches we’ve come to know all these years.

But yeah, getting back on track Crank 2 picks up right where it left off.  The Chinese mafia cuts out Chev’s heart because they want it and replace it with an artificial heart that can be charged by electrocuting himself in hilarious ways.  Chev breaks out to chase after his strawberry tart and hi jinx ensue.  You almost imagine writing sessions under a haze of bong smoke.

“So the bad guy gets away with the heart.  How does Chev get back on the trail?”
*bong hit*  “F*ckin…a gay black biker mafia drives by to help him.”
“What?”
“Yeah, then Chev just bumps into the bad guy randomly”
*bong hit*  “That’s…convenient”
“Shit dude, you’re mellowing my buzz!  Let’s just wrap this up so we can play X-Box”

end scene.

Now there are some flaws (I know, shocking!).  Some of the one liners are forced.  EXTREMELY forced!  Some scenes really don’t make any logical sense, some are unnecessary and seemingly set up an even more illogical third Crank movie but it doesn’t make any sense in just watching this movie alone.

But I had a blast watching it.  I will take whatever complaints you have and just tell you to let it go and just enjoy yourself.  This is Crank 2, you should know what you’re going into already.

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