Edward Scissorhands (Tim Burton) 1990

Well, I guess I now have an unpopular movie opinion.  I f*cking hate Edward Scissorhands.  This is like Tim Burton’s worst cinematic traits all slapped together for one movie.  I don’t know why.  I can suspend my disbelief for magic, elves, aliens, Keanu Reeves being the Lord and Savior for humanity, and Ben Affleck turning a lesbian.  But for the life of me, I could not look at the concept and execution of Edward Scissorhands without rolling my eyes and exclaiming “This is freaking retarded!”  Not politically correct I know, and I fully admit can no longer accept “movie magic” and my inner child is dead, blah blah blah…  I don’t care.  I get this movie.  I get everything Burton is trying to say about humanity and art and how tortured a soul Tim Burton truly is, but this movie is so annoying I can’t stand it.  Edward is the goth icon (possibly even above the Crow) who I kept expecting to slash his own wrists with his scissorhands while listening to My Chemical Romance and looking at a picture of Wynona Rider.  Everyone else in this loud pastel colored fantasy land is so one dimensional and trademark Burton goofy they are migraine inducing.  I know I’m coming off as a straight up hater and I guarantee you I am not usually like this.  But it seems like for every element which could be enjoyable in this movie Burton takes it waaaaaaaaaaay over the deep end and goes out of his freaking mind.  Its a movie so caught up in its own whimsy and wonder I had an overdose on movie magic and found myself yakking up goth pretentiousness on my front lawn.

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