Taking Woodstock (2009) Ang Lee

Production Budget: $30 million
Worldwide Gross: about $9 million

I suppose to cut to the chase: this is one boring ass movie.  From trailer one, this looked like a tired concept and I knew it would take some serious finesse to breathe life into this dead horse of a plot idea.  The plot is about a son who is trying to save his parents run down hotel and accepts an offer to host the Woodstock concert much to the chagrin of the stuck up townfolk.

Now I know ‘boring’ does not tell you much so I will try to explain myself as best I can.  My main issue with this movie is the comedy plain sucks and therefore the movie is a tired slog.  There are no real characters and instead we get lame one dimensional characters.  Oh look, we have talented actress Imelda Staunton playing a grating mother who’s quirk is she calls everyone a Nazi.  Funny, huh?  Or Eugene Levy owns a dairy and whenever people come to his house he pushes his chocolate milk on people.  That resembles a joke right?  Ok, ok, let’s have a hippy band manager who spouts out 70’s hippie things like “Groovy” or “far out”.  I know, I know, let’s have Liev Schreiber as a cross dresser.  Emile Hirsch having Nam flashbacks?  Anything?

I mean, shit, I know people always say they can write this crap, but I really feel I could write this crap.  What jokes do you expect in this movie?  Let’s have a joke about how the townspeople are stuck up squares.  Great, now let’s contrast that with some hippies doing goofy hippie stage plays.  By the way, I got my fill of crappy hippy stage plays in Billy Jack thank you very much.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, let’s have the parents trip on hash brownies.  Nobody has seen that before.  We also have to have out main character take an acid trip.  And so on and so on and so on.  I swear, did the writers of Two and a Half Men write this screenplay?

The plot isn’t all that special either.  What with “inspired by a true story” you would think the process of setting up Woodstock was some arduous and epic struggle but really it wasn’t that bad.  Yeah there were problems, but that’s what you get when you make a concert for over 150,000 people; hippies or no hippies.  Really, this is a small story about our main character and he’s not all that interesting either.  He is an uptight kid trying to do right by his parents and Woodstock teaches him to be his own man and enjoy life.  The actor for this role is bland, wooden, and is completely incapable of carrying this movie at all.

I mean, god this was a hard movie to get through.  This wasn’t bad or offensive in any way, but you have seen this movie.  You have heard these jokes a million times before.  There is absolutely no reason to see this movie in any capacity or for any price.  It is unoriginal, unimaginative, and worst of all unfunny movie.

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